Q: What is it? A: The former fishing destination of Harry S. Truman has been revamped into a so-called romantic retreat. It is secluded. It is for couples. It is pretty expensive.
There are no problems. Everything is amazing.
Everything is amazing. All the time. That’s the feeling you get when stepping ashore on the Little Torch Key, marketed under the name Little Palm Island. And the brand name isn’t just a brand name. Oh, no. This is an island alright. It’s supposed to be “floating like a brilliant mirage, in the Florida Straits”. You will arrive on the m/y “Miss Margaret”, or on your own yacht or by your own seaplane. When you disembark, the staff is lined up for inspection. Weird. It’s like letting out the crew from a man-of-war in Saint Tropez.
When personal gets impersonal.
When you arrive to your suite you will find a bottle of Champagne on the table. Ricky Martin’s younger brother says “Good morning Mr. Nyberg”, and I know that I haven’t met him before. The whole staff is greeting you by name. It’s supposed to be personal but everything seems to be so rehearsed and so professionally executed, that the effect is the opposite.
An island that says no to mobiles.
You are instructed to throw your mobile phone in a special trash can. The sign above it has a rather clear message: “Use it – lose it”. Next to the trash can there’s a special phone booth where you can make phone calls to the world out there. The phones in your suite will only get you in touch with the front desk. This is a brilliant concept, but in reality it fails. At least half a dozen guests are walking around with their Bluetooth headsets, having lengthy conversations with their traders.
Everything is premium at the Little Palm Island resort.
The target group is demanding premium. And the target group is affecting the whole place. The balding, tanned golfers that surround you aren’t exactly the people you want to get stuck with in an elevator. If you’re a plastic surgeon, you may find some new business, though.
To meet the demands of this clientele, the resort is really pushing the envelope. But the aftertaste is something different. It feels like when you’ve had a conversation with a salesman who is too smooth trying to get way too personal with you. Instead of feeling that everything is amazing, you’re constantly reminded that things are just amazing, which makes this place a little less of just that.
Little Palm Island Resort & Spa
28500 Overseas Hwy
Little Torch Key, FL 33042